The Space Around Us

As writers, we perpetually ask "why?" We are insatiably curious, for better for for worse, and sometimes it gets us into trouble. But by Cripes we learn. We learn about ourselves and about other people. We learn about how we move through our space and around and through the space of others.

As I writer I'm more likely to allow someone to roam through my space than not, because I'm curious. I want to experience what it's like to have that person moving through the space I occupy, and how it effects how I continue to occupy the space around me.

This all sounds pretty mystical. But it isn't, really. You know when someone his near you. The feeling in the air changes. The space chages. You know you are sharing space with someone else. I'm a believer that the vibes we put out changes air and space as well. I'm a freakishly intuitive person and I can usually pick up on what someone is feeling pretty quick.

It's in the tone and timbre of their voice. It's in the softness or hardness and pace of their step. If someone is pissed off, I can usually feel it coming off them in ripples and even waves, and I don't even have to be looking at them to know it. I've been known to know what someone is thinking. It happens to me every day. Been like this since I can remember. It's more of a feeling though, than actually hearing words.

I attribute this uncanny intuition to my chaotic childhood. When things are unreliable, you learn to sharpen your intuition as a survival technique, and it has served me well in my life. I still sometimes make bad judgement calls, and it's not because I am not aware of what I'm doing. It's because I'm curious and because I don't always think the way others do.

I'm sensitive to how others feel, and sometimes it has a negative effect on the writing. It gets too much. But it's who I am and I've learned to deal, for the most part.

Some things and people can't be changed. You can try but it's not going to happen. These people I tend to maneuver around instead of moving through their space. People I've tried to help in some way, to no avail. People I've realized want to exploit some part of me for their own gain, while giving nothing back. People who don't really care who you are or where you're going. They are a waste of time and energy, and frankly, a waste of my oxygen, so I don't spend much time sharing it with them.

It takes time to realize that some things and people are a waste of your oxygen, because they will suck the air away from you and leave you gasping. They don't ever change, either, because they really don't care about you. They care about sucking the life force out of you and using it to feed the gaping black hole inside of them.

We've all experienced this. Friends or relatives who are always in some kind of crisis. Being in a relationship with a taker/narcisist who will use you and leave you a husk of your former self trying to claw back to who you are, if you're lucky enough to get out of it. People who are negative all the time.

As writers, it's valuable to have met people like this, and even to have experienced the soul bruising a relationship with them can result in. It's even more valuable when to know to move out of their space, and to stay far enough away that they won't be feeding from you any longer.

Know when to walk away. Know when to stop asking "why" and just accept a lost cause when you see it. Writing is hard enough without spending your energy gasping for breath.