Saturday attached to Friday Post

Okay folks. Today is the day! Book giveaway day for Laura Bickle's Embers. Just leave a comment, from now until Sunday until, we'll say . . . 7 pm Eastern time, telling us about a great book you've read or an awesome movie you've seen recently. Laura will choose the winner randomly and let me know.



I'll announce the winner sometime on Monday. Mondays are insane for me, so bear with me on that. I'll get on at some point, though. I'll ask the winner to email me with their address. Please don't leave your address in comments. Too many freaks out there. More freaky than me, that is.

Saturday

Came back from getting hair done. Bean sleeping. Couldn't focus. Took a pic of me thinking that I should be writing instead of taking the pic, while trying to get into writing mode. Ignore the ugly wallpaper. We plan on getting rid of it at some point, which means we're probably stuck with it forever since neither of us have the time or inclination to work on it.






Contest for a free copy of Embers is still running!

Book Giveaway Day is this Friday

Busy week. But I'm doing a fly-by post to let you guys know that I'm going to do a book giveaway of Laura's Embers. I've got an extra copy, and one of you lucky lovelies could have this copy in your hot little hands. It could be yours. Oh yes, it could be yours.

This Friday, all you have to do is leave a comment about a great book you read recently, or a movie you've seen lately that you loved. It'll be this Friday, so you have plenty of time to think about it.

The winner will be randomly chosen. Okay dokey?

Get ready!

Rarin'

Good parking lot session this morning. My little guy is napping so I'm taking advantage of it.

So I'll leave you with this song. I can't find the official music video for it but I love it:

New Specs!

Lovin' them! Fun, funky and geeky all at once. They are the same frame, but different colors.

My sunglasses, which were my red frames I already had, weren't dark enough so they are remaking them. I'll have to go another week or so without them. Sadly. Oh well :)

Today's Reading

Not bad, overall. And pretty much dead on:


The card in the middle of the circle represents the core or central issue of the situation. Three of Wands (Virtue): Personal fortitude and strength of character. Accumulated power set in motion towards a distant goal. The initiation of an enduring partnership based on absolute trust. Honor maintained in a time of desperate struggle. Taking full responsibility for a decision, and bearing the solitude of leadership.

The card at the bottom of the circle represents something you did to bring the situation about. Nine of Wands (Strength), when reversed: Delayed preparations for an impending trial. Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought. Ill health and faltering of the will.

The card at the bottom left of the circle represents your beliefs, impressions, or expectations. Five of Pentacles (Worry): Hard times brought on by addiction, wasteful spending, ill health, or an outside event. Rejection, loneliness, and the need for comfort. May suggest unemployment, a catastrophe in personal finance, or a turn for the worse in business.

The card at the bottom right of the circle represents the most likely outcome of the situation given present circumstances. Knight of Cups: The essence of water behaving as fire, such as a rushing river: A passionate romantic, full of charm and beauty, but prone to extremes. Forceful idealism blended with gentle kindness. An eager and intense person, forward with their emotions and tender in their support of others.

The card at the upper left of the circle represents the spiritual history of the situation the things you've learned. Eight of Cups (Indolence), when reversed: The realization that a matter thought to be important was actually of little consequence. Moving on from something in which you had invested great love and devotion. The start of an inner journey to find higher aspects of life. Reflection on what is truly fulfilling in life.

The card at the top of the circle represents the spiritual tasks and challenges of the present situation. Two of Wands (Dominion): Established power and influence over others. Setting goals and a vision for the future. Coming to grips with the impact of past decisions, considering the current state of affairs, and developing a plan of action. Responsible leadership.

The card at the upper right of the circle represents the metamorphosis of the spiritual situation, and how your knowledge will evolve. Justice, when reversed: Lack of balance, harmony and integrity. The suspension of action until a decision is made. Lawsuits and prosecutions. Unjust decisions and the consequences of those decisions. A turn for the worse in legal matters.

The card at the left of the lower line represents the person or qualities that will sustain your spiritual journey. Ace of Pentacles: The seed of prosperity and material gain - perhaps as yet unseen. A new foundation from which to turn your dreams into reality. The need to focus on the practical and understand the dynamics of the natural world. May represent a gift, document, inheritance, or an unexpected opportunity for physical achievement.

The card in the middle of the lower line represents the qualities that you express in this circumstance. The Empress: The essence of femininity and matriarchy. Creativity, productivity, and the foundation of civilization. Initiative and practical actions that promote prosperity, comfort and luxury. Fruitfulness and motherhood.

The card at the right of the lower line represents the person or qualities that will reveal spiritual knowledge. Six of Pentacles (Success): A time of prosperity and profit. Success and generosity in material things. Power and influence turned to noble pursuits. Philanthropy, and the balancing of physical and spiritual life. May suggest gifts or aid to one in need.









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Love this Photo.

This is the best photograph of Dennis Lehane I've ever seen, taken by photographer Eric Antoniou. Talk about moody and atmopheric. Love it.

Sizzling Hot!

Got my copy of Embers yesterday and read the first chapter. Really. Freakin'. Good. I was drawn into the story right away, and swept away by Laura's lyrical writing. I can't wait to get back into it after my little guy is in bed for the night.

Lucky for you, my pretties, you can win a signed copy of this hot little item AND a $25 Barnes and Noble gift card if you participate in Laura's contest over at Bitten by Books.

Go! Quick!

You don't want to miss this one.

Where I'm At

Had an excellent writing day yesterday. I love this feeling. The feeling I get when I know I'm almost there. The story is really clear in my mind, and all the pieces that I couldn't reach are moving into place neatly.

Lovin' this. Life is good.

Part of what is really helping is refocusing my energy into the things that are really important and prioritizing tasks. It's the only way to go when you have a full-time job and a toddler. The writing is essential for my sense of well-being, so rearranging what gets my energy and what doesn't is necessary. This includes things that take up too much space in my head that are an energy drain.

It is soooooo easy to get off track.

But I'm really excited about how the book is going right now, and feeling pretty positive about how it'll turn out.

Love this song:

Writing is the Drug

"I felt like one of those people who put plates on sticks and spin them, running up and down the row of plates, spinning, spinning, spinning and dreading the inevitable crash." Devon Monk

I used the same imagery to describe a friend's daily situation just yesterday. Bizarre. I hadn't heard or read anyone using it in years and there it it, right after I'd used it myself. It's weird when that happens.

Anyway. She also says in her post, "I see other writers zoom past me on fleet feet while I turtle on with no finish line in sight. Plod. Plod. Plod. Turtle. Turtle. Turtle." Boy, can I relate to this. I'm feeling a little tired lately, and the urge to couch it instead of work on the book is sooooooo overwhelming. But I need to work so that I don't admonish myself, which is far more draining for me than working on the book.

I was visiting Lilith a little while ago and was delighted to read her post today, which so describes what different parts of the writing process are like physically for a writer, as well as mentally. I've always felt silly telling someone that a particularly good writing day was physically exhausting. They look at you like you're nuts because you are sitting, typing away, and it doesn't look all that exhausting. But it soooo is.

And different parts of the process, using different areas of the brain, so affect us differently. Can I use the word "different" one more time, maybe? Anyway, editing is easier for me than creation. Though creation is like a high I get into the zone, like with any high, it's draining when I come back down. You can fly but be prepared for the invevitable crash.

What helps with the crash? More of the drug, of course. So I keep coming back to the writing again and again. I do get withdrawal symptoms just as any drug addict does when they are away from their drug for too long. Nightmares, feeling shaky, feeling restless, feeling irritable, nervousness, on and on.

Which brings me to her link to this post. Her description here:

"I sometimes think that state–the focused wonder–is the drug that keeps me coming back to writing. Because it feels so goddamn good. Sometimes, the fierce relaxation of being really in the groove and going along, each sentence unreeling to thread me through the labyrinth, takes on that aspect of working wonder and it’s those times, my friends, where I feel like I’m flying over the page."

That feeling is what I'm talking about. It's so hard to describe, and the psychological aspect of it is what brings on the physical part, because I'm certain that as writers our brains fill with all those feel good drugs, all that dopamine, when the synapses are really firing along.

Anyway, back to it for me. I need to finish this book, and thank goodness, because I need my fix ;)

Laura Bickle Contest

Laura is having a contest to celebrate the release of her debut Embers. Go check it out. Way cool and you can win an autographed copy!

Sometimes the Pen is Too Damned Heavy

I love this picture. I'd like to get ahold of this little figurine sometime. Makes me grin.

One of the things that makes me at all adept at writing is my ability to read people. I've been pretty skilled at reading people since I was a kid. I can take in little nuances such as eye contact, body language, tone and fluctuation of voice in a mere moment and know someone's deal. People have tells. I learn them pretty quick.

Writers are pretty obsverant people, and it makes my craft better than it would be otherwise, but sometimes it's a curse. Sometimes I pick up on things and know things that I wish I didn't know. I've learned to trust my instincts because I'm rarely wrong about those things.

Anyway, a little more work on Frost tonight and then I'm off to bed with someone else's book. I want to snuggle in under my quilt.

The Disarming Power of Kindness

Got my documents open and about to try and get some work done while I'm still semi awake. I was up at 5:15 a.m doing my work out this morning, thanks to my new radio alarm clock that my fella got me.

I happened to mention that my internal alarm clock wasn't working lately because of my screwed up sleep routine. My little guy was sick, then he was waking up in the middle of the night. So my sleep patterns were off and consequently my internal alarm clock wouldn't work. All I need to do is think of what time I want to wake up, doesn't matter what time it is, and I wake up. Pretty nifty. However, not lately. I need a set routine sleep time for it to work. So I was missing my work-outs and getting pretty miffed about it.

So on Friday night when Jeff went out for our regular Friday night take-out, he came home with a radio alarm clock for me. Pretty neat little thing. Works wonderfully, with all kinds of cool little features. I can set it to really low, which I do because I'm a light sleeper and hate to be jarred awake. He knows this, which is why he got me a radio alarm clock. I can even set it to let me fall asleep to music if I like, and it will turn off at a certain time.

I was really touched by this little gesture because it was so thoughtful. It means that he was paying attention and that he cares. I really was only kind of thinking out loud when I mentioned that the internal alarm clock wasn't working, but he made a mental note of it and went out and got me a real one. It was such a simple, practical solution and such a sweet thing to do, that I was speechless for a moment. This is partly what makes me fella special. He does thoughtful, considerate things.

When I bought my elliptical machine, he set about making that space as comfortable for me as he could. He set up a shelf, high up in the corner, and took the small tv he had in his garage and put it up there. He then attached the tv remote to the program box of the machine with velcro, pointing toward the tv, so that all I ever need to do is push buttons on the remote. I never have to lift or move it.

How freakin' thoughtful is that? This is stuff I'd have never even thought of. But little things that make my life a little better, in small ways. It takes an extraodinarily kind person to even just think of these things, never mind implement them into action. These are things I never asked for. Never even considered them.

That he was thinking of how to make things better for me is disarming. Leaves me feeling humble because I don't expect it, I'm not used to it, and gestures that show me that somebody cares can actually take the breath out of me, and leave me a little shaken.

I love to give. I have a difficult time accepting gifts of kindness. If I think about this, I'm sure this has to do with my drunk-ass dad, and being the parent in that particular relationship. I'm used to taking care of others and making life better for others. I don't consider it for myself. It makes me nervous.

Maybe I need to work on that.

So anyway, I don't miss my work-outs anymore. Not for sleeping past my work-out time anymore. Thanks to a sweet gesture :)

I'm sleepy and blithering, once again. I'm off to work on the book.

Personality Test

I did the Jung Typology Test for the hell of it. I guess I'm an INFP, which is a Healer:

Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.

Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.

At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone.

When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.

Princess Diana, Richard Gere, Audrey Hephurn, Albert Schweiter, George Orwell, Karen Armstrong, Aldous Huxley, Mia Farrow, and Isabel Meyers are examples of Healer Idealists.

Another Parking Lot Session

“Your silence speaks volumes,” Jack said, then glanced at me. “With you, it’s what you don’t say that gives you away, Kicks.” A Sudden Frost.

Another parking lot session yesterday. Too short, but I was tired and only had an hour. I was reading away, making small changes, deleting, adding, when I must've felt eyes on me because I pulled my gaze away from my laptop and scanned the area. I locked eyes with a young woman sitting in a pick-up truck the next row over, watching me. She was smoking a cigarette and when she noticed that I'd caught her watching, she grinned and lifted a hand in greeting.

I smiled back, then remembered that I needed to watch the time. I glanced at the clock on the dash and blinked. Wow. Good thing she was watching me because I'd have gone over my allotted time for that particular session. My fella had somewhere he had to be.

It was a strange experience. My head was still in the book when I noticed her watching, so it was like one scene superimposed over another.

Daddy has the bean for a bit, so I'd better get back to it.

Conversation Snippet # 2

Sugar Ray is playing on the radio.

Me: Sugar Ray is hot.

Deb: Mmmm. Yeah. I wouldn't mind waking up next to him in the morning. Right?

Me: I wouldn't. I don't want to wake up next to him. But I wouldn't mind him tucking me in.

Strings of giggles bubbling through the air.

Conversation Snippet

This just a few minutes ago at work between me and my friend Deb:

Deb: "Third Eye Blind is coming to Northern Lights this Saturday.

Me: "Oh, I loooove Third Eye Blind."

Deb: "Well, let's go then. Wanna go?"

Me: "Nooooo. Crowds. Big crowds. You're just gonna get felt up in that big crowd, you know."

Deb: "Uh, duh. Why do you think I wanna go?"


Hahahaha! She cracks me up!

Frosty Stuff

A Sudden Frost is still only my working title but I still like it so far. Saving the final showdown scene as one of the very last scenes that I write. Like I said before, it's a candy bar scene, and right now I really need the incentive. Kind of got that ass-draggin' feeling I get before I get my momentum up again.

Getting my wind again usually happens on my, "this doesn't suck" days. Need those. I flip-flop back and forth between those and, "what the hell have I gotten myself into? How the hell am I ever going to pull this off?", with everything I write.

I'm pretty much finished the rough draft now, though it needs a ton of work. I still have some gaps that need to be filled, but this is as it always is at this stage. I have the story down and a few scenes that still need to be written in, but they are in my head. I'm the second read-through to get the feel for the full story again, and those gaps and other things that are missing will become pretty obvious.

Also, as usual, another villain has emerged. Somebody who wasn't even going to get any real page time at all has suddenly become really important to the plot. It's really strange when this happens but I've been doing this long enough now that I'm not surprised.

I've come to expect it when minor characters, and in this case, REALLY minor, as in no lines or stage movement at all except through the dialogue of other characters, reveal themselves as sleepers. Characters who don't seem important but who turn out to be formidable opponents of either the antagonist or protagonist.

I remember this happened to me several times during the writing of Finding Chloe, and even in the very final stages, as in last read-through of a book I thought was finished and I was only polishing, two characters whom I thought were pretty docile turned out to be villains. Freaks me out. I don't see it coming. I can plot all I want but the characters really do take on lives of their own.

And if I try to force the book to go in a particular direction when it clearly is moving in another, I get blocked. My subconcious knows better. So I'm learning to listen to it. There's always a reason why I do something that seems unimportant and incidental. That seemingly unimportant thing turns out to be very important to the plot.

Anyway, enough of this meandering, aimless blog entry. I'm crawling into my bed early tonight. Got up at 5:00 a.m. to do my work out. I'm at 40 mins but I think I'll up it again. Just not looking forward to getting up even earlier. Eeeek!

I'm Sleeeeepy. ::Yaaaawn::

That's all for now, folks.

Happy Easter!

It's Sunday, and I'm in a Maroon 5 state of mind. So, I'm flying in to throw this video up and get back to the writing while daddy has the bean. Have a great day all!

Easter Weekend!

It was GORGEOUS today in Upstate NY and it'll be even more beautiful tomorrow. I'm cooking turkey dinner tomorrow because we won't have Jeff's other little guy on Sunday, and I'm a little concerned about the house getting too hot. I mean, it's supposed to be 80 degrees tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Just a tad bit scared of the heat. But I think I'll start cooking nice and early and keep the windows open so it won't be too bad.

I'm stoked. Got Easter basket stuff for both boys yesterday, complete with the decorative yellow grass that goes into the baskets. I was going to get blue, but I ended up getting yellow. Brighter and more cheerful. I know I'm crazy for getting as much chocolate as I got for the boys, because they will be bouncing off the walls. But what hell. If it gets too bad I'll just take off and leave daddy with them. Kidding. Really. Hehe!

I'm making stuffing from scratch, which I did for Thanksgiving. I put sausage and mushrooms in it, and onions. Mmmmm. It definitely doesn't suck. Didn't think I'd be good at the homemade stuffing thing but I am. Pleasant surprise.

I'm also going to choose new frames for my new specs. Had an eye exam on Wed, which I was under the impression would be only for contacts, since prescriptions for contacts expire in one year. The conversation with the doc went something along the lines of this:

Doc: "So when was your last eye exam?"

Me: "Oh, about a year and a half ago. My eyes are great. It's just that my contact prescription expired."

Doc: "Mmm hmm." (Now he's setting up the odd looking contraption with the goggly looking things on it that you read the letters from. Yeah. I know. I'm a writer. Pathetic, right? Anyway, you know the contraption I mean.) "Look through those would you?"

Me: "Uh, okay. But my eyes really are great. Nothing wrong with them. Just, uh, need that updated contact script." (Getting annoyed now. Figuring the dude is wasting my time.)

Doc: "Uh huh. What does that bottom line read?"

Me: (Squinting) "Uh. . . Oh my God. " (Squinting harder) (Bethany, that moment when you realize that you're wrong in a argument? This was a shining example of that moment.) "Wow."

Doc: "Uh huh. Not fine, is it?"

Me: "Um, no."

At this point, he went forward with the complete eye exam. Turns out, I'm even more blind than I thought. Cripes.

So tomorrow I'm choosing new frames. I need to go back and visit this eye doc next Wed to let him know the trial contacts, which are different than my usual contacts, are fine. I'm still pissed at the bastard for making me do the eye exam and realizing just how blind I really am. I was perfectly happy in my ignorance.

Anyway. Tomorrow will be crazy busy for me, so if I don't get to blog, I wish you a wonderful day.

Oh, one last thing. Spazzy, distracted writer moment I have to share with you all.

Not recognizing an area at the top of a flight of stairs I've climbed at work at least half a dozen times in the last three years because the door at the top of the stairs was . . .um. . . closed. Yeah. I didn't recognize where I was because that particular area looked so different to me with the door closed. WTF?!

Shit like that ever happen to you? Cuz I swear it happens to me a LOT. SPAZ!

Night all.