Soulful Writing

Visiting Justine Musk's blog tonight, I came upon her latest blog entry on putting more soul into your writing. I love this post, because it validates what I've been doing with this book in particular. It also explains why it feels so raw to me. I've had to take breaks here and there in the writing of it, to get a bit of distance when it felt like too much. It's been the most challenging book emotionally for me to write.

I was having a conversation with my mother on Sunday a.m while I was making a big breakfast for my boys. While I was waving a spatula around, I agonized over whether this book was too dark, too emotional, too . . . much. I still do. She's awesome because what she really does is lets me think out loud and answer my own questions, really. She's a sounding board. I figure a lot of shit out this way with my books.

The story cuts deep. It's emotional for me. And tonight I'm so glad that I found Justine's blog entry on the topic, because I think I'm on the right track. Funny, the closer I get to the end, the less I want to write the end. I don't know if this is just procrastination or maybe that something isn't right with the story and I subconsciously know this, or if I'm having separation anxiety.

But brooding over pans of eggs, sausage links and bacon, I did discover at least that a character I really didn't want to kill off has to die. It's horrible for me, but if she survives it cheats the story and the reader. Strange, because this character never actually steps onto the page or says even one word of dialogue, but her presence is strong in the book.

*Sigh*

I'm taking the week off writing this book, and I'll get back into it on the weekend. I'm giving myself permission to take a break. Which isn't really a break, anyway, because the story and characters will be running through my mind anyway.

I had to smile at her suggestion of timed writings. I've been doing timed writings ever since my little guy was born. I have no time to dawdle when it comes to the writing. I sit my ass down and I bang out a scene or two while he's sleeping or in a parking lot, or whatever. Also, nano was another lesson in timed writing. And Justine is right. You do get right to the good stuff. No time for padding or ruminating.

This is also probably why this book feels so raw. Everything came from the heart. From my gut. I think I'm feeling a bit scared of it right now.


You know the feeling. Like when someone makes you feel too much and you need to catch your breath. But every second you're away from them, you miss them and you think about them. You remember their touch. Their scent and how it lingers on you after you leave each other. The sound of their voice. The turn of their lips when they grin. The shade of their eyes when they crinkle at the outer corners when they smile.

It's like that with writing too. For me, anyway.

Okay. Sleepy. Over and out.