Happy 4rth!!

Happy Fourth everyone! Gonna make it a quiet day because it's going to be sizzling hot out there. Maybe fill my little guy's little pool for him and let him splash around. My fella's going to mow the lawn and tinker in his garage. Just a low key day. Niether of us want to be out in the blasting sun in a crowd of sweaty, cranky poeple today.

So far today I made banana pancakes, washed the floors and did some laundry. It's not even 11 o'clock yet. Hope to do some writing today. Yesterday's parking lot session didn't work out all that well because I was tired. Went to bed too late, having taken my little guy to the drive-in to see Toy Story 3.

That didn't work out so well. He didn't want to stay in his seat and bounded all over the truck, yelled greetings to the people next to us (on both sides) during the movie, and turned on the wipers, honked the horn, powered the windows up and down and kept locking and unlocking the doors. So we had to leave. Ah well. Maybe next year.

Anyway, I didn't get to bed until past 11 o'clock, which is too late for me, because I'm up early.

I know. Wild woman, huh?

Speaking of which. I must be a total square. I'm the only person I know who hasn't had at least one hook up. Meaning one night stand. Everyone else I know has had at least one, if not many. Not me.

Not that I'm looking for one because I'm not. I don't feel like I missed out or anything. But it just struck me as being a little odd.

I'm kind of reclusive though. And waaaaay cautious. I've never put out that vibe even going out with my girlfriends when I was in University. In fact, I put out a get the hell away vibe. I don't have an extremely high trust level.

But more than that, attraction for me is an intricate process. I'm attracted to personality, but it has to be a particular set of factors involved. Never been attracted to just a physically beautiful person. Or a jock, or money, or whatever. In fact, money has always been a mark against a potential suitor. I can't relate to it. It's foreign to me. Completely alien. So it's actually something that repels me from a partner.

If he had money, he'd betta have had one hell of a sparkling personality, because I just didn't care. And he'd betta have been doing something good with some of that cash, and not just flashing his shit all over town. The couple of guys I dated who came from money didn't last long. They had never struggled. Never known what it was like to not have whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. The sense of entitlement was always the clincher. And then the power imbalance of them being a have and me being a have not. That was especially tough for me back then. Buh bye.

There was one guy in high school that I liked. I didn't hold the fact that he was gorgeous and had money against him. He was funny. Great personality. A lot of fun. But he drank a LOT. So I wouldn't date him. But I did a few term papers for him. He said one day,

Him: "You will do my papers for me but you won't go out on one date with me?"

Me "That about sums it up. Yes."

Him: "It's because my family has money, isn't it?"

Me: "No. It's because you're a friggin' lush. You come to school drunk every day. You're a train wreck, man. I don't need the grief."

Him: "Okay, but aside from that, why won't you go out with me?"

I did like him. I hope he stopped drinking, for his sake.

Anyway, I'm thinking of this whole attraction thing. It's definitely personality for me. Somebody with fire and passion. Somebody driven in some way. Beauty is just the topping on the sundae.

So no hook-ups for me. I just never had any interest.

Makes it tough to write about a character who hooks up, though.

I'm rambling. Have a good day everyone!